Diary of a Flawed Healer Part II
Some mornings I wake up and I want to bury my whole body in the sand. Be The Ostrich. I’m sure I can pull it off in spite of my short, stocky legs. Perhaps if I stay there long enough, the bad stuff will go away. Oh, symphony of denial, your song is enticing!
OK, so my life can’t afford such pleasures of The Ostrich (image above by the Naked Pastor!) and I’m guessing neither can yours. But you try and part of you even believes it’s working. Denial can look like pushing your feelings back down or refusing to see that a situation or person has changed or moved on. Denial can be not acknowledging what your heart is telling you to do or knows to be true. And the queen of all denials? — Responsibility; that you had a part to play. Wanting to jump ship from this article by simply reading this list? I implore you to stay with me on this one. It’s uncomfortable, I know. But we’re in this together so let’s observe and move through this story.
The Denial Mask
I could get up, put on huge sunglasses that mask three quarters of my face, peel my lips back to show some teeth, don a potato sack and attempt to parade good health and happiness. Be the Functioning Ostrich. I’m going through the processes of life best I can but the word DENIAL is plastered on my forehead for all to see. Heaven forbid others see I’ve put on over 20kg since becoming a mother, that my forehead is carved with wrinkles or that some days I think sub-par thoughts. To the outside world I must be the very epitome of wellbeing. I’m a healing practitioner of all things!
I explore this very dichotomy in Part I of Diary of a flawed healer; making the imperfect, perfect. How can I help someone if I’m flawed and imperfect? I can’t be anything less than perfect. Look on social media— it’s plastered with the perfect life and those living the perfect life, (especially in the self development industry). Or so it seems.
Social Media Mask
We’re becoming wiser to social media. We can choose what to show others and it’s often the very polished side. I’ve posted these images myself (Holistic By Nature on Instagram): the perfect whole foods lunch (which was followed by the rushed meal thrown down the next day), lying in the sun reading that new book (that’s been sitting on your shelf unread for five weeks) or the selfie (large sunglasses, best lens and edited appropriately). Do I want to show others the raw and real me and have it plastered over the internet> it’s a valid question and concern!
But alas, I digress. Back to the Functional Ostrich and me, the flawed healer and you, the beautifully flawed human.
Acceptance is key
As I stand in front of the mirror, accepting this internal dichotomy, I realise that being inherently flawed as all human beings are, is the very foundation to what makes a great healer. I’ve been there too; I’ve been where you are. As we say in vibrational medicine “we’re vibing”; when two people resonate and have rapport with one another.
So instead of embracing the the Ostrich (I’m waaaaaay too short, anyway), I find myself writing an ode to the many clients I’ve had the honour to work with. Had it not been for your strength perhaps I would have kept my head in the sand a bit longer and continued to suffer greatly for it.
An ODE to YOU, my almighty friend
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve stood listening to a client, astonished by the similarity of our lives; as you tell part of your story, you hold a mirror to mine. Or the many moments when the fundamental crux of the session reveals itself as a powerful message from spirit via the body and I know in my heart that it’s a message I too needed to hear. We’re often drawn to a particular practitioner because there is work to be done together. There’s something within how that practitioner works and how they facilitate your healing that means you’re meant to work together. And maybe you continue working together for a long time or for a few, sweet sessions. Either way, it is how it is and it’s perfect.
Not only do elements of human experience, connection and compassion tie us together, it’s the wisdom you speak as you reveal your pain. It’s the vulnerability you courageously greet. There is no coach and player; no game to play or rules to adhere to. There is no teacher and student; no dynamic of authority and control. There’s simply you and me and the divine energy that flows within us, between us and around us. As we speak to your body and hear it’s words, and feel it’s energy there’s only one interpretation of the messages and that’s yours.
I’ve been a kinesiologist for nearly a decade and a mere mortal for 40. I’ve drawn upon complementary medicine since I was a small child. Yet I’m still amazed every day in every session with every client. I am in awe of your sage offerings. I am in awe of your willingness to go deep within yourself— even when it’s scary or unfamiliar. I am in awe of how you listen; how you feel. I am in great awe when we tackle a massive session together and I wonder if it was too much yet you return to peel away yet another layer. I am in awe when the pieces of the mind-body-spirit connection finally make sense and we both bathe in the gift of insight. There is no denial, simply acknowledgement and gratitude. Whether you’re in the depths of your exploration or in the light of your awareness; you are almighty.
How To Move Through Denial
Patterns of denial can be old and some can feel like they have a strong hold on you. It takes strength in vulnerability to admit what you’re denying, be it: physical, emotional, mental or situational. One of my favourite tools to use is food as medicine and our dear friend Black Pepper can help here. Kinesiologist and Aromatherapist Robbi Zeck describes Black Pepper as the perfect ingredient to help move through denial and come to a place of acceptance. It’s no wonder that Black Pepper is useful here as it’s well known as a digestive support, detoxifier and enhancer for circulation. The theme of action for Black Pepper is movement and when it comes to denial, we all need support moving through it and digesting life!
You can use Black Pepper in it’s organic essential oil form by mixing one drop with a teaspoon of carrier oil (for example almond or coconut) and rub over your belly area or on the soles of your feet. Black Pepper is often found in body washes and scrubs. It’s a very strong oil so use it sparingly or get some advice from a local aromatherapist, naturopath or herbalist.
However, the easiest way to use Black Pepper is through your food by cracking some over your meals! Such an easy way to invite healing into your life!
To Be or Not To Be… Almighty
Even those of us who spend our personal and professional lives looking deep within are tempted to be The Ostrich. Life can throw us some hefty challenges (OPPORTUNITIES). Join me for the next instalment of Diary of a Flawed Healer as I venture into the inner workings of exactly some of these times, when I was faced with a choice: to be or not be The Ostrich. To be or not to be almighty.
As always with love and gratitude, my friends— you don’t have to do it alone. xkp